#lil' ghetto boy

[oopsl]

The Chronic by Dr. Dre, 1992

[soupy-sez]

Dr. Dre – Lil' Ghetto Boy ft. Snoop Dogg & Daz Dillinger (1992)

[turbomnstr]

[starlooove]

A lot of y’all see Miles as “one of the good ones” and it shows

[desswright29]

Ghetto Story Summary

Y’all it’s this story I want to find and I’m not sure if it’s on here or A03 (I’m leaning towards A03). It was a series and it was never finished. But y’all about to get one hell of a summary.

Shuri and reader are in an arranged marriage. Shuri actually liked reader but ol girl wasn’t tryna hear it. But she wasn’t blind or nothing every once in awhile she would be like yea she is looking kinda right ya know. Anyway Shuri’s given it her all. And one day they have to go to this meet up at the White House with the president and his wife. The wife is instantly giving y/n bad vibes. But she’s chillin. But she keeps throwing lil jabs at Shuri. Shuri ain’t catching it but y/n wasn’t having it. So the 1st lady goes to the bathroom and y/n follows her in there and they have a slight lil altercation cause we went in there like “bitch you gone respect my wife!” And then they walk out like nothing happened and we curl up under Shuri and give that hoe a nasty mug. So we have to leave cause Shuri has another event to speak at at a school. And it was real cute or whatever y/n sees her in a different light and all that.

So reader and her family used to come to DC often and she had this reaturaunt that was her favorite she mentioned it a looong time ago. Shuri remembered and surprised her now readers warming up because she didn’t think Shuri was paying attention that much. So they leave and now y/n want some damn ice cream right. Okoye like “Aight now we already made to many got damn detours we need to get outta dodge.” And Shuri’s like “Maaaan Shut up! My baby want some muh fuckin Ice cream she gone get some muh fuckin ice cream.” So they go get the muh fuckin Ice cream. So Shuri is standing with Okoye and I think Ayo (don’t quote me) keeping watch out while you get Ice cream. Whole time ol dude at the ice cream stand is the Opp. Upped the tooly on her shot her 3 times. FAH FAH FAH!!!! 1st lady put a hit out on us! Now Shuri scrambling and Okoye nem go to catch ol boy. Shuri gets y/n stabilized with a bead. And get her back to Wakanda because she doesn’t trust the American hospitals.

You’re in a coma for awhile. Shuri’s pissed and spiraling. Now They’re keeping it very private that you’ve been shot. But some how Washington puts out a statement. Sending their condolences. 😬 Big mistake Shuri’s catching on. So Shuri calls Okoye who has the dude that shot y/n (they’re still in America because they can get in trouble for taking him across the boarder). Shuri’s like “is he talking?” Okoye like “Nah”. Shuri said “Fuck that shit bring that nigga to me IMMEDIATELY.” They tried to talk her out of it. She wasn’t hearing it. You wake up out of your coma.

Y’all have a beautiful moment. She’s in the hospital bed with you chilling when Okoye comes in like. I got your package. And Shuri like “Bet” you notice the interaction and you’re like “Shuri don’t do no dumb shit” she like “nah not me.” She leaves. You don’t believe her. They leave Aneka with you. You like take me to where she is. Aneka like “I can’t do that!” You like “Yes you can!” She like “aight” So she gets you in a wheelchair and takes you to the basement of the palace you didn’t even know was there. She gets you behind the double sided glass and Shuri is in there BEATING THIS MAN INTO A PULP!! 🫦 Fucking that man UP I tell you! And that’s where it ended.

Anyway. Anybody else read that story and know the name of it? That was one of the most gangster sexiest non smut versions of Shuri I’ve ever read in my life. 😩

[sunbookie]

If Donny Hathaway's "Lil' Ghetto Boy" was a photo...

That's literally the first thing that came to mind.

Dope.

[ridethehammett]

i want my lil ghetto white boy to come home 💔

[abiiors]

okay so while we’re on the topic… i’m a newer fan of the boys, i actually got tickets to one of their concerts back in october when they were touring in america from my aunt even though i had never really been a fan of them (her heart was in the right place 😭😭 bc i do listen to a lot of music that’s like in their sphere ig?? and i’ve been to festivals that they’ve performed at so i can see why she would’ve thought to get me those tickets, i just never really listened to their music before) but i went to the show regardless bc hello free concert tickets?? would have been a sin to let them go to waste tbh and oh my god am i so glad i did, it was actually one of the best shows i’ve ever been too!! especially considering i only really knew their popular songs?? like robbers, somebody else, aaaand it’s not living if it’s not with you

ANYWAYS that being said, since i had never really followed them before i always pretty much ignored anything i saw about them on twitter and stuff, mainly the negative things said abt matty bc not my faves, not my business?? but i gotta ask someone who’s been a fan of them for a lot longer than i have, what iiiis the deal with all the “matty healy racist” “matty healy homophobic” “matty healy [insert smth hateful here]” rhetoric??? bc from what i’ve seen of him after getting to know more abt the band he doesn’t appear that way at all?? like were there things he said that were taken out of context??? what’s up with the nazi accusations??? also homophobic??? is twt not aware of what he did in malaysia?? also straight men that are homophobic would never have the kind of close male friendships that the band have with one another… it seems like he’s twitter’s scapegoat tbh but idk i’m simply so confused and anything i find online trying to explain it all seems very biased based off the language they use so if you can/would like to… pls help 😭

okay first of all, welcome to the fandom!! i'm so glad you're here and i'm so glad you got to see them live!! they genuinely are so so incredible <33

now onto the questions!

i won't say matty's a saint. he's definitely done things in the past that are disappointing (to me at least, as well as to many others on here). last year he went on a podcast called the adam friedland show where many tasteless jokes were made about japanese people, the porn website ghetto gaggers, ice spice as well as countless other tastelss things were said.

now i really really want to clarify that matty never made those jokes but he did laugh along to them which is also a shitty fucking thing to do. he's since said that he was advised not to go on the podcast by people close to him and he still did it. however, he's also publicly apologised to ice spice and she's also said that the 1975 are one of her fav artists.

in may of 2023 he started allegedly dating taylor swift (i still don't believe it, i still think they either just made music or they just fucked or both) which exposed him to a whole new level of fame that was unprecedented. and the swifties are... rabid, to say the least. they made fun of his appearance, his past addiction issues, hoped he would have a relapse and die, all sorts of horrendous stuff. they discovered the podcast which was pretty fresh at the time and the whole thing spiralled into him being labelled a racist, homophobe, transphobe, pedophile, nazi, you name it, he was being called it.

however literally NONE of it was backed by evidence (but i don't expect people whose sole source of information is twt to realise that)

they have clearly never learned what a nazi is. i'm not even going to try to debunk that here because i feel like it would be insulting to your intelligence

he's not homophobic or transphobic, he's literally an ally to the point of being a fruity lil shit. he's been banned from 2 countries (dubai and malaysia) for openly supporting queer rights. they were also briefly jailed in malaysia for the stunt they pulled and had a lawsuit filed against them. he's even won ally of the year at the diva awards in 2019

literally every single fan who's ever met him has had nothing but amazing things to say about him. he's been incredibly kind and sweet to people

the band has always been openly political and vocal about their beliefs

you're absolutely right about him being the twitter scapegoat because unfortunately that's exactly what it is </3

i hope that clears things up tho, i'm sorry this is so long!!

[cinamun]

I read that long ass paragraph that anon wrote, and it screams they didn't read the story. Because had they did, they wouldn't have come with a weak “Jerri hooked Bishop with Mercy” B.S. And the ghetto? Sis really? If I can even call you sis because appropriating culture is a muthaplumma, but I digress. Jerrilee was literally drugged and held hostage for several days because she rode for hers. She embodied family over everything from the beginning of this story. Because who else would clap, they lil sis sperm donor? Who nonny? Jerrilee spent numerous amounts of time with Hope. Were you there when Indya and Jerri squashed they lil beef when Hope was a toddler? Were you there when Jerrilee told Hope about her grandmother and got corrected when she called her a hoe and Hope said sex worker? Were YOU there nonny when Hope and Elliot were smoking weed at the skate park? Were you there when Hope ran away and Jerrilee protected her from the streets? Because that long ass paragraph you typed suggested otherwise.

Nonny What Bishop and Mercy got going on ain't got SHIT to do with Jerrilee. The social worker taking Jerriah from her mamas is trash, and I can't believe you can't see that because you fail to overlook someone's past.

I just hope your past is white as cotton to be able to look down on a sim that was harassed, singled out, and picked on by the government. Could never catch a break because their name is in the system. Subjected to Karen's that's looking for an easy lick, protected by police officers who also prey on the little brown girls and little brown boys of the community trying to survive. Nonny you touched a real sensitive area of my heart and I hope these answers you received as a result of your ask enlightens you.

Because in reality, you should have sat there and ate yo food.

Why y'all making me emotional this evening with the entire story breakdowns!!??

WERE YOU THERE NONNY?? This is for you and whoever was thinking like you when the update dropped early this morning.

[icravemusicx0x0]

rating music please don't hurt me #20 | lil boat 3.5 - lil yachty

every five entries, i will look into a significant (not always a masterpiece) album from the past (totally not a stolen idea). today we're going to talk about lil yachty's album lil boat 3.5.

lil boat 3.5 marks an interesting end to the lil boat trilogy. the two first album, lil boat 1 and 2, were an unexplainable mess during my first glance of listening, but i may not go further talking about this because i haven't got a full experience with the two pieces yet. to be honest, lil boat 3.5 is a little bit underrated, and i mean a little bit because the album is more tolerable than the two first albums, but still in a messy and unpolished fashion.

please note that i'm rating lil boat 3.5, which is the deluxe version of the original album lil boat 3. 8 new songs were added in the deluxe bundle of lil boat 3.5, they are alright, but it doesn't improve the overall quality of the album that much.

the new production style improves the album by a decent amount, and fortunately for me, it just really fits my taste alright. the production was the thing that hooked me up, but it also was the thing i feel gray about, because its kind of repetitive. the production is very energetic and fun to listen, its so crazy it made me dumbfounded, but is a hot mess sometimes.at least they can make the retro-ass synth better? but hey they hooked me up so thats a point.

this is yachty philosophy in lil boat 3.5: guest-list in front and im in the back. every got a great spotlight in the verse, except for oliver tree because how would you even let him in your album, yachty?

overall, the new album is interesting and tasty to bite the least, but that's only in my opinion. in a retrospective view, the album is yet quite messy and tasteless, and goofy, like on crack. its not boring thoguh even so its an career-defining album from the artist and will lie in his legacy, and yes it will be an interesting one.

this album may not be in your favorites, but it will be in my 'wtf is this bullshit i love this' list.

underrated gem(s): lil diamond boy - its a criminal fact that this song is so unpopular, LIKE ITS SO GOOD, t.d - every guest ate and left no crumbs, if there is crumbs it is prob lying on lil yachty deadass, westside - no comment its just not bad and not not good.

tracks that i rec listening: flex up - hello lgbtq community especially the lesbian couples from the ghetto who is a rage rap fan, coffin - i really like this repeating and hard hitting beat into the verse, charmin, just how i'm feelin', in my stussy's, top down - roblox sim game ahh beat idk, split/whole time - i went so insane when the smooth transition happened SKJDKJF, pardon me - this song will always be catchy asf, demon time, can't go, oprah's bank account - love this and drake maybe uhhhhhhhh, range rover sports truck, lemon head - throughout the song is a repetitive sample that plays like you're using that one electronic somewhat midi piano on garage band that plays the sample in tune when played.

worst track: certified - the synths are horrible, there are tracks as rubbish as this but it is explainable to be on top of this monstrosity

overall score 6.3/10 - this is all opinion so pls no hate

listen to the album here:

[p1325]

Here's the list of the mixes I used: Charli XCX - Nuclear Seasons (Michael Brun Club Mix) Charli XCX, Icona Pop - I Love It (Wayne G & LFB Club Mix) Charli XCX - You're the One (Climbers Club Mix) Charli XCX - You (Ha Ha Ha) [Goldroom Club Mix] Charli XCX - What I Like (Bodhi Remix) Charli XCX - Superlove (The Wide Boys Club Mix) Charli XCX, Iggy Azalea - Fancy (Ranny's Club Mix) Charli XCX - Boom Clap (Cahill Extended Club Mix) Charli XCX – Break The Rules (Roma Pafos Bootleg Club Mix) Charli XCX, Rita Ora - Doing It (Riddler PM Club Mix) Charli XCX - Famous (The Wide Boys Club Mix) Charli XCX - Vroom Vroom (Unknown Remix) Charli XC, Lil Yachty - After The Afterparty (Chocolate Puma Club Mix) Charli XCX, David Guetta, Afrojack & French Montana - Dirty Sexy Money (Joe Stone Club Mix) Charli XCX - Boys (Barry Harris Club Mix) Charli XCX - 5 In The Morning (2Wasted4 Westend Ghetto Club Mix) Charli XCX, Pablo Vittar, Brooke Candy & CupcakKe - I Got It (The Lordss Bootleg Bounce Club Mix) Charli XCX, Jay Park, Kim Petras - Unlock It (Alice Deejay Club Mix) Charli XCX, Troye Sivan - 1999 (Alphalove Club Mix) Charli XCX, Lizzo - Blame It On Your Love (Craig Welsh Extended Club Mix) Charli XCX, Christine and the Queens - Gone (The Wild Club Mix) Charli XCX, Pabllo Vittar - Flash Pose (David Michael Tribal Club Mix) Charli XCX - White Mercedes (EDX's Miami Sunset Extended Club Mix) Charli XCX - Claws (Jon Tho Remix) Charli XCX - Good Ones (Dario Xavier Club Mix) Charli XCX, Rina Sawayama - Beg For You (Brett Brisbois Club Mix) Charli XCX, Christine and The Queens & Coraline Polachek - New Shapes (Fabián Morales Club Mix) Charli XCX, Saweetie, Joel Corry, Jax Jones - OUT OUT (Edson Pride and Weslley Chagas Club Mix) Charli XCX - Used To Know Me (DJ Λllen & Kyle Harrison Bootleg Club Mix) Charli XCX, Tiesto - Hot In It (Eddie Martinez Club Mix) Charli XCX, Blackpink - Speed Drive VS Kill This Love (Leo Frasson Tribal House Mash-up Club Mix) Charli XCX, Sam Smith - In the City (ZAX Extended Club Mix)

[crestfallen-infatuation]

Uh, ayy, live from the Crescent, it's the Christ like figure

Riding in the North with some ice cold killers

Raised on the Bank, start young drug dealing

Now my money in the banks, tripled up cartwheeling

Hoes on my nuts wanna licky, licky, lick

If you know me, then you know I give no fuck about a bitch

Live from the sticks, always got the pistol gripped

Five in the clip, let that motherfucker kick

Smoked out, loced out, homies on the jose

Top down, spokes out, smoking on a port

Crack rock, dope house, shooters with a scope

Grew up where your mama always told you not to go

Get my dick sucked, mane, these hoes just a nut

Playing with her pussy while she sitting in the front

Another in the back, rolling, smoking on a blunt

Bitch, what you doin'? Get the fuck up here and

Lick my nuts, lick my, lick my nuts, lick my, lick my (I tell 'em)

Lick my nuts, lick my, lick my nuts, lick my, lick my (I tell 'em)

Lick my nuts, lick my, lick my nuts, lick my, lick my (I tell 'em)

Lick my nuts, lick my, lick my, lick my nuts, lick my, lick my (I tell 'em)

Yeah, live from the crypt off about five scripts

Live from the ville with your bitch in my crib

Ring, ring, go the phone, it's another call missed

Hard to have a convo when her lips on my dick, yeah

Fuck the 5-0, still dead to a snitch

Can say that shit enough, talkin' like a new trend, yeah

Ride like a pimp, Cadillac with the tint

I can have them killers do you in all for some rent

Slicky heaven-sent, but I'm looking like the devil

Ruger, choppa, draco, always toting heavy metal

Hustle like a fiend even though my life settled

Every bitches dream, it's the boy Lil Wetto

Work the wood like Geppetto while I'm smokin' on gelato

Koopsta on the speakers with my foot on the petal

Rose from the ghetto, boy, rose from the dead

Gimme, gimme head, gimme head, gimme head

[nk-salinger]

Kendrick Lamar’s 25 favourite albums of all time:

DJ Quik – Quik Is the Name (1991)

Ice Cube – Death Certificate (1991)

Dr. Dre – The Chronic (1992)

Snoop Dogg – Doggystyle (1993)

The Notorious B.I.G – Ready to Die (1994)

2Pac – Me Against the World (1995)

Tha Dogg Pound – Dogg Food (1995)

2Pac – All Eyez on Me (1996)

Jay-Z – Reasonable Doubt (1996)

2Pac (Makaveli) – The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory (1996)

The Notorious B.I.G – Life After Death (1997)

DMX – It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot (1998)

Lauryn Hill – The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (1998)

Juvenile – 400 Degreez (1998)

DJ Quik – Rhythm-al-ism (1998)

B.G. – Chopper City in the Ghetto (1999)

Hot Boy$ – Guerrilla Warfare (1999)

Lil Wayne – Tha Block Is Hot (1999)

E-40 – Charlie Hustle (1999)

Kurupt – The Street Iz a Mutha (1999)

Dr. Dre – 2001 (1999)

DJ Quik – Balance & Options (2000)

Nas – Stillmatic (2001)

Clipse – Lord Willin’ (2002)

Jay-Z – The Black Album (2003)

[dashawns-world]

Escaflowne the Movie (2000)

I’m probably dating myself immediately by choosing this movie, but it’s what came to mind after a joint last night. I recommend watching (at least) the opening scene of this film up until the title comes on at around 5:20. You can watch it here. I will spoil the movie, though, so here’s your warning. Also, this movie deals with heavy themes such as depression and nihilism. If that isn’t your thing, run awaaaay!

Where was I? Oh, right- 

So, why this movie? Well, let me paint a lil’ picture for you. (With words, I don’t wanna paint rn, sorry.) 

I was 10 or 11 when Escaflowne came on TV one night, I think. (This painting sucks, leave me alone.)  I remember it being faaairly late, and I was fiending for anything with the vibe of Dragon Ball or Cowboy Bebop. Though I didn’t know it at the time, it was anime that I wanted to watch. I felt like a cool grown-up watching them because they had violence and adults smoking. Simpler times.

Escaflowne started much slower than I would’ve liked as a kid. Now, I can appreciate the time given to showing shots of the sky and the massive airship that dwarfs a damn mountain. But as a kid, I wanted something to happen.

I got my wish when this anime boy fell from the clouds. I’m like, where’d this guy come from? I’m locked in now. Suddenly he lands on the airship, and a guard is rightfully like, “Bro, who tf-“ SLICE! The guard is dead, and my lil developing brain decides, “Yup, here’s a core memory.” What proceeds is the most intense opening of a movie I’d seen up until that point. The drums kick in, and this anime boy runs into a hull full of soldiers and sprays everybody. The animation, choreography, music, and cinematography are outstanding. Truly unmatched stuff. I won’t go into detail here because I want to break this scene down later, but yeah, the anime boy’s lone assault on this airship is incredible.

I NEVER got that opening scene out of my head. It started my obsession with anime guys and their samurai swords before Samurai Champloo, and solidified my appreciation for airships/sky battles. Maybe it’s because I recently beat “Tears of the Kingdom,” but I’ve been thinking more and more about how I like fighting in the sky. (Not irl, though.)

Now the thing is, the opening scene is ALL I ever remembered from the movie. I could recall elements of the rest of the film, like the fact that there were giant robots, but the story and characters never stuck. And that’s why I decided to rewatch this as an adult and figure out why. 

Here we go!

I won’t dissect the entire movie beat for beat. It’s tempting, but I want to discuss the story and its themes today. I’ll need to let you in on another small fact to do that. This movie is an adaptation of an anime TV series called “The Vision of Escaflowne.” I didn’t know that until last night because while watching it, I could see the story introducing many elements and dropping them just as quickly, so I googled it. At this point in my life, I’ve watched many films based on books. You can just tell after a while. What’s interesting, though, is that this adaptation took a lot of liberties with the source material. I only knew this version, so I’m judging it on its merits. 

I’m also ghetto, so here’s Wikipedia’s summary. 

“Hitomi Kanzaki is in crisis. Her life has lost its meaning, and she is plagued by unusual dreams. She is depressed and wants nothing more than to disappear. After falling out with her only friend, she is mysteriously summoned to another world, Gaea, where she finds herself inside Escaflowne, a doomsday weapon destined to come to life at the appearance of a prophesied "wing goddess". The world of Gaea is facing its own crisis: relentless conquest by the Black Dragon Clan, the rebels against which become convinced that Hitomi is the prophesied goddess who will revive Escaflowne. Never certain of her identity in Gaea, Hitomi finds her destiny as she becomes closer to the rebel leader, Lord Van, and helps to bring about the fall of his vengeful brother Lord Folken, the master of the Black Dragon Clan.”

Say thank you to Wikipedia! ...I’m sorry if this is annoying to read.

Anyway, I’ll say that’s a reasonably exciting story! Maybe not now when tons of Isekai have done it arguably better in all these years, but It’s interesting. A depressed person with the power to make or break a world? What a concept! Indeed it’s enough to make you curious. I’m gonna stop talking like this now.

Nihilism is the name of the game in this film. Each major player (Hitomi, Van, and Folken) represents different stages of it. Whereas Hitomi deals with how much modern-day living sucks, Van and Folken’s conflict involves war and their entire world. That said, Hitomi was ready to self-destruct in her introductory scene due to her depression. VERY HEAVY. After the opening scene's thrill, this was like whiplash. None of this stuck with my childish brain; I was very dumb. Thankfully, the imagery was not disturbing (otherwise, it probably would have), but the stuff she said resonates with me now. 

Ultimately, she finds she’s not alone in feeling this way, as Van is similarly alone in his world as the sole heir to his kingdom. He has only known struggle thanks to his dickhole older brother, who is coo-coo-crazy with his nihilism, and is hell-bent on taking the whole world out with him. Hitomi and Van only defeat Folken thanks to finding and understanding each other. …Except they don’t defeat him… in fact, the story and many of the themes get kinda screwy.

I’ve buried the lead, but in my opinion, this movie starts off strong and then drops the ball. I will say I liked what the story was doing. The theme, learning that you’re not alone when you’re depressed, is beautiful. Sure, one can argue that it oversimplifies a real issue, but stories can do that. I see stories as extensions of their creators. The writing is genuine here. Hitomi’s dialogue in the intro was legit and also beautifully directed. I’m definitely assuming here, but if this is how the writers chose to tell the story of someone struggling with depression, I won’t dismiss it because they didn’t match how I feel you should write about it.

The problems I had were more on the missed potential side. And letting dialogue take the place of visual storytelling. The first act had me completely engrossed. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. The troubles started to arise when they started introducing maaaaany characters. I started to lose track of them. I love ensemble casts, but in a 90-minute movie, they’re not all going to get to shine. This is only a problem for me when I actually LIKE the characters. (which I did, the freakin goobs) So if they were to… suddenly eject from the plot, I’d be sad. This is where the film, initially being a show, reared its ugly head. Van is part of a resistance group, but he’s not even the leader. I don’t know why the Wikipedia synopsis said that.

Thanks, Wikipedia.

You find this out after his and Hitomi’s introductory scenes. They throw this lovable gang of misfits at you, and they do it well. I was on board and was even starting to worry for them because I knew a dark fantasy story had the potential to kill off mains. None of them die, though. In fact, around the halfway point of the movie, they all become completely irrelevant. The actual leader? Diet-Sephiroth? He can keep UP with Van, who is, on all accounts, a killing machine. They seemed to think showing us this was important. Too bad he’s useless by the movie's midpoint, too, because he never has to show that strength again. They don’t even get a scene at the end where they tell Hitomi goodbye. Why the hell were they even there? Why did we spend any time learning about them? I’m sure they get more relevancy in the show, but this isn’t the show; it’s a movie. A movie that purposefully isn’t anything like the show, either. From what I read, this movie cut a lot of the fat from the show, but I guess this couldn’t be helped. That said, there’s a scene where a VERY detestable character gets a farewell scene. Why him and not Van’s crew? I’m very upset, lol.

So what happens when the crew is gone halfway through the movie? Well, Hitomi and Van bond. But… not in any way that’s immediately noticeable. This is my major, major issue. Too many characters tell Hitomi things about Van before we see them bond. I really wish she’d SEEN that he wasn’t such a bad guy instead of people telling her. They also tell her the whole point of the movie, which is a no-no for me. The lion dude is straight up like, “Yeah, Van wants to die.” He may as well have said, “Just like you did earlier in the movie because he’s depressed too.” I was hoping she’d learn this from her interactions with Van himself, but up until this point in the movie, they don’t interact much. This is where my tastes come in, as I want to grow attached to the main characters in a story. Hitomi and Van, despite being very profoundly written in this film, are only their sorrow, it seems. Hitomi, at least in the beginning, is less so. But Van is about as interesting as a wall in this movie. (A wall that can fight good, mind you, but fight good is not a personality trait.) 

Stories about emotionally stunted, stoic-lite dudes that need a woman to show them how to care make me cringe. I can’t help it; it’s just not my thing! “Man strong, he need woman to lie head on.” I personally think that’s weak irl, so stories like that don’t resonate with me. To each their own. I think it could’ve at least been done a bit more tastefully. But heeey, this movie is a 2000’s movie, baybee, and hindsight is, of course, 20/20. In the movie’s defense, though, Hitomi and Van don’t seem to develop feelings or intimacy beyond understanding one another, so that’s why I could keep going! One could even say the stoic dude thing wasn’t their intention! But that’s the problem when you don’t give HIM (Van) any agency, and everyone talks about him like they did. I forgot he wasn’t a machine until ⅔ into the film.

I gave it some thought, and the only reason this bothered me was that Van’s humanity was all there, but AFTER these scenes with Hitomi being told about it. Van DOES open up and IS a good guy in a bad position. There’s a scene where he sculpts a figurine for one of the crew members. I actually love how the scene was directed because you couldn’t tell he was doing it. It was a reveal. And a very good reveal, to me. I enjoyed that! If they had put that scene earlier than it was placed, that could’ve been the visual moment to know that he’s not all “kill, kill, destroy.” But it wasn’t new information where it was placed. The movie said, “Sorry, I know Van seemed a lil coo-coo-crazy initially, but we promise you he’s a protagonist.” And I’m like, “I knoooow, you told me so many times that this seems redundant now.” Okay, I’m done with my lil rant.

The intention to make Hitomi and Van two peas in a pod was great, but it felt like Hitomi didn’t think he was tight until he saved her and was told multiple times Van’s cool... After that, she becomes a “Van’s the Man fan girl.” So if you look past all that, they bond, and it’s nice. But the rest becomes kind of a slog. Characters are introduced and given nothing; Before I end this, lemme talk about Folken real quick. His motivations were weird. Basically, he hated the world? And wanted it destroyed by the apocalyptic arrival of Hitomi. The head-scratching came from the fact that he didn’t need her to fuck up the world. He was doing a pretty good job being evil and ruining everyone’s lives without her. His misinformation about their lil prophecy was his own undoing. In fact, he knew he was going to die and welcomed it. The prophecy said he’d die, but it didn’t say how it would happen. I guess he wanted it to be Hitomi, but she was like a school girl so that didn’t happen. Lol, sorry, bro. I skim over stuff all the time; these are the results. The plot was “Folken was wrong about everything.”

So, due to being wrong about everything, Folken is betrayed by one of his own soldiers and KILLED lol. If you didn’t watch, you’re probably like wow that’s underwhelming. But if you SAW how impossibly powerful they made Folken seem, this is even more of a wet slap on your cheek. His climactic battle with Van and Hitomi is underwhelming because they don’t fight. It seems like, through Hitomi’s influence, Van no longer wants to be a fighter ANYWAY. He just wants peace. But the movie definitely made it seem like they were all going to fight more. I guess I like climactic fights if you give me too powerful badasses. Theme be damned, lol. That’s not a fair critique, but it’s what I wanted. Not a single clash of a sword between Van and Folken. The ending just had me scratching my head. After the lack of character stuff, all I was looking forward to was a sick animated fight, and I didn’t get it. There are more things I could nitpick, but ultimately it was the lack of believability in Van and Hitomi’s relationship that kept this from being a classic in my eyes. I’m fairly lax about plot shit when the characters are hitting, but if I’m bored of your mains, I don’t care, yo; I’m going to sleep. So much potential, though! 

There are a few scenes I’d like to go over in detail because, despite the movie’s lack of a satisfying whole, there were some REAL TASTY parts. But I’ll do that in another post, as this one is too long now. I’d say at the end of it all, I did learn something about my own tastes. And now you did too. Thanks for reading if you got this far!

-Dashawn